Have you ever read a book or movie synopsis and in a few short sentences, you’ve been convinced to commit the next several hours of your life to it? Messages to your prospects need to evoke the same sense of intrigue. However, quickly grabbing the attention of a new prospect with your written word can seem like an unattainable feat, especially if you are crafting dozens of communications a day. Sean Kenny recently shared some tips on how to find the right people to reach out to. Knowing what to now say is the next critical focus in your outreach.
I review hundreds of messages a week here at Alyce. That coupled with my years of experience in copywriting has informed these five key tips for writing a personal sales message:
Keep it brief, clear, and concise.
Get to the point quickly, let them know why you have reached out, what you can offer them, and what you’re asking of them (if anything). At Alyce, we see the highest engagement with messages between 200-250 words. Leave the full value prop for the demo and give them just enough in your initial message to spark their interest.
Try, “I’d like the chance to talk to you about how ABC Company can help your team streamline and scale your marketing efforts.”
Make it personal and relatable.
Create a connection with the person by including a personalized message. You can still use a template, but include a key piece of information that lets the recipient know this message is just for them and if anyone else were to receive it, it just wouldn’t make sense.
Here’s one example: “As someone who also loves NFL season, thought this gift would help you get fired up for this fall! Go Pats!”
Create a connection without overstepping into “creepy”.
You want to call out a common bond, but not make the recipient feel like they’re being watched.
Cool: “I recently adopted a Husky from the local shelter, so I know first hand how valuable your volunteer work with local dog shelters is.”
Creepy: “I thought you might enjoy this Bark Box to share with your French Bulldog, Sammie…”
It’s not about you.
Avoid starting sentences with “I” and instead make it about the recipient rather than yourself or your company.
Instead of, “I’d like to tell you about our services and how we can help your business…”
Try, “Based on your experience, it would be great to hear how you’re leading your team at XYZ Company to enhance relationships at top-tier accounts.”
Don’t forget to proofread.
There’s a place for quick messages that put speed over grammar and spelling, but this isn’t one. Proper message structure with correct punctuation and formatting will ensure your message is clear and easy to read. Give your message a quick read out loud before clicking Send (this is especially important if you’re using a message template as a jumping off point). Is the recipient’s name and company name spelled correctly? Do you stumble on any sentences? Did you include your name at the end?
Your message needs a basic structure that includes:
Clear, concise message that grabs their attention….
We’d love to hear your must-do tips for crafting the perfect message. Leave us a comment below!